So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deut. 31:6 (emphasis added)
When I don’t have answers to where we will live, what our days will look like, who our community will be… He knows. When I am tempted to fear the unknown and grasp for control, I can find rest in surrendering my thoughts and emotions to a God who “personally goes ahead” of me. He knows the hairs on my head, the intricacies and struggles of each of my children, the longings of our hearts, and most importantly, how to best meet our deepest needs and comfort us in our sadness.
During this time, most people ask, aren’t you getting SO excited?? The true answer is more complicated than a yes or no. We are incredibly grateful to have tasted and seen the goodness of our Lord (Ps 34:8) over the past few weeks. We are thankful to have reached 96% of our support needed and have a date to move. We are so excited to begin a new chapter of our ministry, on site in Monterrey; to begin sharing stories of lives changed, including our own, as we see God intervene in the lives of the orphans we serve. But the tears that quickly well up in my eyes lately, remind me of a truth of equal weight… these are the hard weeks. As our walls become increasingly bare, as we sell and give away belongings carrying memories and meaning, as we draw ever closer to the time where we are no longer within easy travel distance to our families and community, we do grieve. We grieve, however with hope and in light of the truth of God’s word -
And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. Matt 19:29
We know for whom we are going through this process. We serve a God who delights in taking care of His children and we know that what He has required of us is so small in comparison to what He has for us. I pray that we will be filled with more of Him throughout this process. That we will more deeply understand His call on all of our lives – to surrender all to follow Him – no matter the cost. That our children will see reflected in us, obedience even when it is difficult and the joy of following the Lord. He truly is enough and the only one who can satisfy.
So these last weeks, I am soaking in the last moments of this way of life. I know that once we begin this journey, we will be indelibly changed. We will never again feel completely at home in one country. Our children will become third culture kids, as they adapt to a new culture, before even fully experiencing their culture of origin. I am trying to enjoy a less complicated way of life, which prior to recently, I didn’t even realize we were living. I am embracing the hot tears, recognizing that they are evidence of countless deeply loving relationships. Most of all, I am praying that God is glorified even in this process. That He would use our journey to show His faithfulness to those around us. That even in these difficult days, we would love well our family and community and create forever memories. I am overwhelmed with gratitude, as I know that the pain we are experiencing is only evidence of the How richly the Lord has blessed us.
I look forward to sharing more soon, all the joys that are to come. To praise God for his provision and share stories of His faithfulness. We are truly blessed to walk through life with our family, friends, and ministry partners and to be living out the call God has placed on our lives.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:3